James Stirling CBE – 1953-2018
Freedom of Information request granted. Final message sent 8/11/2018:
It lives in the eternal twilight, knowing neither true darkness or the gift of light.
It has dwelt within the grey and the mist, within the in-between. Not quite under the surface. Never quite revealed. Undisturbed by the tangible, unheard by the listeners, it screams from within the spaces that lie unseen.
Unseen because they don’t matter, they don’t count, they don’t blend. There is no movement, no sound and yet it cries out across the multiverse, “Hear me! See me!” And is ignored by all. We turn a blind eye and a deaf ear. Those places are wrong and we’ve been warned about them. As the sun goes down and the daylight fades we turn away from the shadows. Artificial light is created and deployed and why not? Who wants to be the one to venture into that place? For to acknowledge it, is to begin the journey. A forbidden journey. And what lies at the end of that journey? The screamer. The crier. The seeker of confirmation. The final and devastating confirmation of existence.
You deny it immediately. That’s because you’ve been programmed to do so. The horror that it could be real, that it could be there, living, breathing, screaming. Timeless. But time passes, even for the timeless. And the dragging eons change nothing of its nature or its intent.
Why is this?
Because it is, in essence, an absence. A Zero, or more precisely THE Zero. Forever empty. That’s a concept that’s alien to everything that you and I are or have experienced. Even space, we now know, is a thriving, seething soup of space-time. A vacuum full of fundamental particles being created and destroyed constantly. A crackling sea of quantum foam. A living fabric.
Not so the dweller in eternal twilight.
Absence of substance and life. Absence of vacuum itself means that even using the word “absence” is ascribing too much quality to it.
And yet there it is. This “absence” has, by all measurable definitions, an existence.
It’s existence was created by it’s direct opposite. It’s an existence by contrast.
Substance and life exist, even vacuum exists and therefore to say that it exists means an acknowledgement of inexistence. Inexistence exists. Absence exists. Zero exists. And it screams. It mourns for a time when it ruled. When is laws governed all. It mourns for that time because when it reigned supreme it didn’t exist.
But now it lives by force and folly. It seeths with hatred of its counterpart, clinging to the natural longing to return to nothingness. The paradox that it desires what it already is, is not lost on it. That further enrages the nil. Devoid of morality it’s one desire is oblivion. Complete oblivion for all. Then the naught will rule again. Absence will reign.
Then the eternal twilight will not need words to describe it, because then, as now, there will be nothing to describe.