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The Diary of a Broken Women

“Loving The Narcissist” 
Loving the Narcissist is like taking poison and dying slowly.
He is miserable, and he can’t stand that you are not.
He hates you for your joy and wants to make you feel so lonely
That you forget anything good or positive you ever thought.
The Narcissist has a very fragile ego.
He is full of insecurities, self-hatred, and shame.
For him, to manipulate you into darkness is very intriguing,
And to make you feel confused and doubtful is his primary aim.
The Narcissist wants you dead” – my trauma counselor told me.
I didn’t believe her at first but later saw that is was true.
With his narcissistic gaslighting and projection, the Narcissist sold me
On the idea that of his own abuse he genuinely had no clue.

The Narcissist won’t leave you alone, ever.
You are his Narcissistic Supply needed to survive.
He is fueled my the idea of making you suffer forever.
He is pleased knowing that, abused by him, you can’t thrive.
You can’t help the Narcissist by loving him,
Because he doesn’t just feel by you unloved –
From his childhood, he feels fundamentally unlovable.
That’s not anything you can get for him resolved.
To be targeted and attacked by the evil Narcissist,
All you need to do is to breathe and be.
For him to hate you, it’s enough that you simply exist
But if you’re happy and joyful, he won’t ever set you free.
He will continue to devastate you relentlessly.
He wants you to be drained and miserable like him.
To ensure that you feel hopeless, he will work restlessly,
Until he witnesses with pleasure that being depressed you begin.
Loving the Narcissist leads you not just to deadend –
It takes you quickly to the real hell on earth.
And as long as to genuinely care you tend,
The Narcissist will hate you vigorously and intensely for all he’s worth.

 10/16/17 © Anna Szabo, JD, MBA

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A trainee that is out of her depth.

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